Elljah Katarn - Jedi padawan

[Norkos]

I'm no master kid, just a plain old knight of the order

[jedielljah]

so much editing lol. do you think it needs abit more? if so what?

[Norkos]

Well, it's hardly necessary, but it helps if you mention what forms of lightsaber combat you're studying (especially since you'd have been training with me for at lest 5 years now). Theres a good place for them here: starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber_combat

Also, expanding your personality a bit wouldn't go amiss.

[John Tarkin]

Change the history we dont need to know about Kyle we need to know about you.

[Grand Admiral Piscis Vir]

yes, agreed. A little bit about Kyle is fine (I know at least two others who did similar things), but it need to focus on Elijah, not Kyle.

[jedielljah]

taken out a chunk on kyle, and put his prefered style of combat.
what else should i add in my background?

[Grand Admiral Piscis Vir]

I think it's a huge improvement from the original (no offense).

Jon?

[jedielljah]

oh none taken i was definatly expecting to have critisism (sp?)

[John Tarkin]

Much better. Approved. Head over to the Jedi Temple thread and you will have to call Norkros "master"

[Norkos]

I'm afraid further training will have to be postponed. I'm a little tied up with Zane and the masters at the moment.